Saturday, 30 January 2016

The Worst Thing You Can Say To A Man.


That's it.

No coming into my space. No coming through my door. No coming into my vagina. No coming into a movement designed specifically for women and not for you - due to your penis. 

You are saying "NO" to his penis. He's likes his penis a lot.

(Sometimes he pretends he hasn't got a penis to get in. I know right? They are a bit fucking obvious. What with them being pretty much shaped like a rocket and all and doing all the standing up straight and exploding everywhere.) 

But lets not make this about the transgender issue. Let's focus and assume that men have a penis and own everything because of it. You know. Like common sense and eyes tell us they do.

Here is an eye is a penis....

sorry... wrong button.... clumsy fingers... HERE is a penis.... 

Women... lets keep our eye on both those penes.

Men are used to walking the world unchecked and seeing women as just so many doors for them to walk through, rugs for them to walk over and backs upon which they should build domestic and business empires. They are dinosaurs and they have created the swamp. I do hope history repeats itself or that they clean up their act.

There is a new show on Netflix called Jessica Jones. Jessica is a Superheroine. She has a dark and troubled past history of abuse featuring a very special kind of villain. Her abuser, a man named Kilgrave, (played by David Tennant) is the epitome of male entitlement. He uses mind control to make people do exactly what he wants. 

The domestic violence metaphor is not at all hard to decipher. Tennant plays him perfectly. He is charming, handsome (if you like that sort of thing), witty, cultured, well-dressed etc etc. The fantasy element barely conceals the parallels with a real life abusive man. 

The moment that has stuck with me is where he walks up to a door and simply says "you'd like to invite me in" to the man who answers. The man does so and in he walks. He does this in order to stalk and manipulate Jessica who has escaped him. 

Extract of his commands here....

Last week a woman I know told me of her abusive ex entering her house. He had simply sauntered in when collecting their child for a visit. He wandered though her rooms giving her unwanted advice and casually glancing at her things though he still owned all of them and her. Finally ... and I am not joking... he requested that she make him a sandwich. She did not. She felt violated and angry but often continues a calm and quiet relationship for the sake of her child and because she has grown used to appeasing him. When he returned from the visit he walked straight in uninvited behind her child and the woman was startled by his assumption that her home was still open to him. 

The next day she texted him that he should not come into her home uninvited. She says it was very polite as she always is with him. 

He texted back a vicious death threat - thinly veiled. I have seen it but won't publish it as it is disgusting and extreme in language. She was shocked. She's shown it to a few feminists and hardened as we are as a group... we are all shocked. When she returned to her home later the next day she found that "someone" had tried to break in. She did what she has never done before ... took our advice and help...and called the police. They acted. They warned him that he has no rights to access her property or right to contact her and that he will be issued an harassment order if it happens again. 

The point is this. No matter how calmly and sensibly and rightly you tell an abusive man "no" ... he does not think you have the right to say it. He may need to kill you for saying it. He may come in anyway. 

Extend this to feminism. Men think they have a right to come in. They demand it. They command it. They declare themselves feminists. They get t-shirts. They no-platform actual feminists. They declare that we are not women because there is no such thing as women. Men are barging through our doors unchecked. Liberal feminists are opening the doors so widely for them, and so often, that these days there is little need for barging. 

Let's get some decent fucking locks and let's start saying "no"more often. 

The men I love..... and yes there are some... ask if they can come in. They fucking ask. With my home... if you have a key to the door ... assume it is your home.

With my feminism.... if you have a penis assume it is not. 

Disclaimer - George Osborne's penis was not harmed during the making of this blog. Probably.