Wednesday, 2 March 2016

Ched Evans and "No".

Yesterday it was announced that the rapist Chedwyn Evans would have his case heard by the Court Of Appeal on the 22nd March.

Ched Evans was convicted of raping a woman on 20th April 2012. He is, at present, still a rapist and serving his sentence on license.

Men who rape women would like not to be caught. Men who rape women and are caught would like not to be convicted. Men who rape women and are convicted and sentenced would like to be set free. Men who rape women and are set free would like never to have been caught and convicted and sentenced and would like to go back to a life before they raped a woman and their life was spoiled.

The key thing here that would make those men happy?

If the woman had just said "yes".

Or if she hadn't said "no".

Lots of them believe she did say "yes". Or that she flirted, winked, fell over a pizza box, groaned, moaned, implied by sipping a vodka that she meant, "Yes. Put your penis in me. That is a thing I want."

Unfortunately, for the men, and of course for the women, (remember them... they are the ones with the vagina that the penis goes inside... that is the inside of their bodies.... through one of the entrances to their bodies.... THEIR bodies...) this often did not happen.

Ched Evans does not like "no". He likes "yes". When he was convicted in 2012 he appealed. A judge said "No." Ched did not like that and he has continued the ordeal of his victim in pursuit of "yes".

He wants the Court Of Appeal to give him a "yes".

For a lot of rape victims they know it is totally pointless to go to any court. Or the police. Or even to tell anyone at all. They are well aware that when they said, "no" they were not listened to. When they said, "stop" they were not listened to. When the man heard, "yes" they were saying, "no". 78,000 men a year did not get a "yes". They got a "no" either directly or by the absence of "yes".

Only around 7% of women who said "no" to a man who put their penis inside them without their consent are ever told by a judge and jury that they had the right to say "no". That is a woefully small amount of justice given to women. That is a frightening amount of men who do not care what a woman says when they want to put their penis inside her.

A lot of men are back on social media already screaming obscenities at women who support the right for all women to guard the entrance to their own body. The right to say "no". There are a body of men who do not like women who say "no". They would like it very much if women didn't need to say "yes".

So, Ched Evans takes us all to court with him. Again. We are all waiting for a Court Of Appeal to say "yes" or "no" on behalf of a raped woman.

Wouldn't it really be better if any man understood that a woman has the right to say "no" and if they do not or cannot then the answer to the often unasked question is not "yes"?

To the men who ask me if I will say "sorry" if Ched gets his longed for "yes"... I say this.....

I am sorry that so many women are so afraid of how the UK justice system will treat them if they have said "no" to a man that they do not even ask for help.  I am sorry that if those women do ask for justice they frequently do not get it. I am sorry that if those women do obtain justice after a lengthy ordeal then a court can still take away that justice if a man still cannot understand that if he doesn't get a "no" then he hasn't automatically got a "yes".

I will always be sorry for women who are raped.

Love to the sisters at this horrible time,

JH x