Sunday, 18 December 2016

Why doesn't he just leave?

The Leaver.

No. I haven't mistyped "she" and formed the communal rallying cry of people who have zero understanding of domestic violence and the difficulties a woman has in leaving a situation where she is abused.

I talk instead of the fact that an abuser is always "leaving". Except the bugger never really goes.

Let me explain. Early in a relationship a practised abuser uses his physical presence to unsettle and disorientate his prey. At the start of a relationship many partners want to be with each other more and more. The delirious feelings of love are developing. (For the abused - not the abuser) There is physical intimacy which bonds a couple. A woman will find herself falling in love with the man who will go on to abuse her. He will be really good at making her believe he is in love with her too.

There may be gifts. There may be trips. There will be long nights sharing intimate secrets. These are particularly good for him because the more he learns the more he can use. Your father beat you? Logged. You were picked on at school for your weight? Logged. You have always been afraid of being left alone. Logged. You love your best friend but she sometimes makes you feel used? Logged. Every thing you say that he could hurt you with he is storing. This is a valuable time for the abuser with a longer game in mind. He can't get the joy of power at this stage but he is setting the charge for later explosions and that is quite thrilling to him. He also gets to tell you everything he wants you to believe about him. Little might be true.

If for any reason he sniffs insecurity - that is the golden gift for him. Has a man previously left you low on trust? Has a previous man left you needy? Have you been sold the idea that you must be with a man for life? The myth of "the one" bitten you hard? He's got that ready to go against you.

Weeks will pass. Perhaps months if he is very skilful and can hold his abuse back a little longer. You might feel totally secure. Even occasionally superior to him. He isn't as attractive as you. He isn't as socially adept. You know he's actually bloody lucky to have you and he may even tell you this. You may even feel that you could walk away at any point.

Then he leaves. Out of the blue a tiny argument over nothing blows up and he walks out. No warning. No discussion. He's just gone. "I've had enough of this. See ya."

You are stunned. You weren't expecting this. What did you do?

And that is your first taste of his leaving. He knows how you are feeling. He knows that you struggle with rejection. You have probably told him! You now have to tell your friends and that is embarrassing because you've been telling them how perfect he is. You are miserable. You cry. You wonder where all the beautiful future you planned has gone? Did he really feel so little for you. Down you spiral. Your friends try to convince you that he's a wrong un. You won't listen. They are your friends. They just don't know how you felt. They are bound to take your side. You have a drink with your friends and then you get on the phone. He doesn't answer. He flips it to answer phone.

You will text him expecting it is an easy misunderstanding. He will ignore you. You will panic that he is with someone else. That he is dead. You will think your phone isn't working properly. So "gone" is he that you are convinced something is really wrong. There is no answer to any of your texts. Or there is an answer which confirms it is over and lists your faults that make it impossible to continue a relationship.

Shall I tell you where he is?

The pub probably. Laughing. Having a good time. Knowing you are in pain and knowing he is coming back. Oh yes. He is coming back. That is the scariest thing. He knows he is coming back as he slams the door. He just needs to come back to a very different you. A weaker you. A you who knows her place.

So a few days later your eyes are black from crying. If you have kids they will have been rocked because you won't have been listening to them much. You will have been distracted and miserable. In real terms you haven't been living.

He's back.

He's sorry. He didn't know what he was doing. Here's a gift. Here's a cuddle. Here's a sheepish him making jokes and making light of your devastation. Here's you. Fixed. The pain has gone away.

A pattern is established. With him you are happy. Without him there is pain.

You will notice he didn't leave for long but he left as though it was real. He made it convincing enough for you to really hurt.

And then he just repeats. He lets you get secure again and then he goes. Each time he comes back he cements things a little more of course. You get deeper into the relationship and more invested and he is just waiting to bring you lower and bring you more under control.

Sometimes they leave for very short periods. Mid-discussion they just grab their keys and slam the door. They come back a few hours later. The thing is ..... you don't know if it is the last time. You don't know if this is actually the real thing. You spend time in a desperate panic. You fast forward through all the difficulties this will cause. You've been there so many times before it triggers the same vertiginous panic even if it is just hours as opposed to days.

Do they have any times they won't leave like this?

No. They will leave when it's your birthday, they will leave when your mum dies, they will leave when you find out you're ill. Sometimes they leave because it is convenient. Like another woman is looking available to them. Or their friend has offered a holiday. Or they need a big night out with the boys and no strings attached while they flirt, or even sleep with, another woman.

Do you need to be living together?

No. He loves leaving you in the middle of the street. In restaurants or bars. At parties where your friends are. At parties where his friends are and you know no one. On holiday. He will leave you anywhere that you can't cope on your own easily. That is lots of fun for him.

They will leave just before Christmas. A woman told me she has just been left in a new home she can't afford, with 2 small children who she thought he loved too, a dog they bought together, debt she'd offered to help with. She is distraught. She didn't expect this to happen. They were getting married. He loves her. Doesn't he love her? She must have done something wrong? It must be her fault she decides. It is never her fault. He knew he would be pulling this act from the first time he saw her probably.

He will come back. He will come back. I wish I could tell her that he won't. That if she waits she will get over it. That if she waits she will see that she had a lucky escape. That if she waits her life is waiting for her.

But she needs the quick fix. She needs it like air. He's made sure of that. I understand totally. I just wish she could change the locks, change her number and change the programme. I wish women could help her.

The text.

"I'm sorry. I'm coming back."

*This man differs from one who fears commitment. That man may eventually be ok for you. It may just take him time. This man is not that man.

Saturday, 10 December 2016

Ciaran Goggins

Ciaran Goggins.

Currently I am being accused of  a crime. I have been raising money for the complainant in the Ched Evans case (or Woman X as she has come to be known and then stealing it). I have published below the account statement from Go Fund Me. This is where the money has been throughout and where it remains. I am awaiting them transferring that amount to Rape Crisis England and Wales. I have put Rape Crisis in touch with the Police Superintendent in charge of the care of Woman X. They are negotiating a handover of half the funds between them and no money will ever pass through me. I have full and robust evidence of this should any investigation require it.

Accusing me of embezzlement is the utterly vile Ciaran Goggins.

Ciaran Goggins is probably mentally ill. He was once accused of rape and sadly this never went to trial. That of course means he was never found guilty of rape. Women withdraw accusations for a variety of different reasons. He was accused by a student nurse in Hertfordshire in 2004. She clearly accused a man she felt had raped her. I’ll leave that observation there.

He has been obsessed with any dominant media rape cases ever since. Ched Evans was his “favourite”.  Ched Evans publicly denounced him. This appears to have had a seriously detrimental effect on his already fragile mind. It seems from reports that he is largely vagrant and when not attempting to maintain a rather sad existence on derelict land in County Cavan, Ireland, I am told by his estranged family and friends that he occasionally wanders to the UK and travels with his possessions in a carrier bag looking for families to attach to.  I’m informed by a media source that he is particularly fond of young boys and has a tendency to form worrying attachments to women through whom he might access them. He seems to have a urinary problem that renders him incontinent and pungent. 

However, despite his obvious problems that would lead me to sympathy and natural compassion any Google search will reveal significant smearing of my character and all sorts of nonsense that Ciaran Goggins wants to remain in the public realm. This is what he does. He targets women with accusations of the vilest type and repeats them until any search of their name leaves them tainted with suspicion.

So, whilst he is clearly deranged, and common sense says to ignore this, it is upsetting to know that this kind of digital footprint of my name exists and I want to attempt to put something out there which will reveal the truth about his cruel and obsessive stalking of the online profiles of women.

Despite his diminutive character (he’s a tiny little pant-soiler is Ciaran) the impact on the lives of good women that this man has is significant. He stalks relentlessly. He posts pictures of their family that he has stalked online, personal details and regularly talks of when he will visit and how he will be bringing his Stanley knife with him. He finds any evidence of you online and posts horrific accusation of things that you have done. Previous to this latest nonsense I have been posted as being suicidal, alcoholic, neglecting my daughter, aiding a peadophile husband in his pursuit of child porn etc etc. All sorts of grim and blatantly untrue nonsense details in his posts. This is irritating, and yet anyone who knows me in real life looks at me with incredulity that I even give it a second glance.  It is so obviously untrue. I have been divorced for years. So much of what he writes is clearly pure fiction but he says it anyway because he knows that once it is on Google it sticks.

During the retrial of Ched Evans, Ciaran Goggins’ blog was removed as he was naming the complainant. This angered the presiding judge who was almost forced to abandon the trial because of this. It was deleted by Wordpress.

He simply continues his vile “work” on other host sites. He continues to spread his lies far and wide. He continues to stalk and harass women and in particular women who are victims of sexual violence.

From my point of view he is hard to fight against. He is in Ireland and has some protection because the police and CPS are lazy and don’t understand the imminent danger of a man so deranged and so violently obsessed that he could carry out his threats any day now. I will continue to press them for action and they assure me they “have him on their radar” now. This includes the Westminster Palace police. He incited others to murder Liz Truss at one point. I captured this and sent it to her team. They contacted me and said I should report as I found the blogpost and then they could act. Liz Truss herself did not want to start the ball rolling. Strange that, for a woman in charge of protecting the rest of us, that she expected the common woman with no power to act and do her job for her.

I spoke to Westminster Police who assured me he is in their sights. Not as far as I can see. This was months ago and he still harasses myself and other women on a daily basis.

Why me?

Because I fight for women. Because I am a woman. Because I don’t give in to his pathetic little tactics and I am not giving in yet.

I will continue to fight against this pathetic little man and I will finally see him in jail. I am more than happy to face him in court and one day that will happen. I hope he decides to sue me for this blog so that I can drag his soggy little bottom into a British courtroom.

Ciaran Goggins is a danger to women. He is a danger to himself and he is making a complete mockery of the British Justice System, the police and the Government who are constantly talking about justice for victims of stalking when in reality, one of the worst harassers of women is still freely wandering the streets with his little carrier bag. Quite possibly he has the aforementioned Stanley knife in it with which he will attempt to kill me. I'm much easier to access than the well-protected Liz Truss. I'm pleased for her that she is. I'm less content myself and could do with some protection from her and the law.

So Amber Rudd and Liz Truss. Enough of the words and promises. Do something about him. Earn your money.

Jean Hatchet

Here is the Stripe account linked to the Go Fund Me account. The figure does not show the admin fees deducted by GoFundMe but it does show that all of the money raised and available is still there. 

This tallies completely with the amount in the email statement GoFundMe sent on 8th October apart from an amount donated yesterday which is not processed. Also, there is the £1000 donated in error which was refunded and that is confirmed by GoFundME and the excel document I have downloaded. For clarity though .... a screenshot of the refund is also posted below. 

The amount will be transferred to Rape Crisis England And Wales on Monday. They have kindly agreed to deal with the police team in charge of the care of Woman X and arrange for the transfer of the other half to her to do with as she chooses. She is apparently very happy that Rape Crisis will receive half the money. I am delighted to have raised it and saddened to have been accused in this way. Hopefully this makes everything clear.

Saturday, 12 November 2016

Have you got one in stockings?

[I had my words stolen yesterday. By a "feminist" man. He won't apologise or acknowledge that he has done so. That happens all the time. Owen Jones supplements his income with taking feminist words. I have never been paid for writing and don't care if I'm not. I love writing.

I am annoyed, but I will do what is better for me than being angry. I can write about an experience only a woman can have had. He can't rewrite this for his own "feel good" factor. Because this cannot have happened to him.

I'll also be accused of "playing the victim". Yeah - I don't care that much.... because I was one. "Victim" is left behind when something bad has been done to you. Bad things were done. I don't see why women should feel terrible about sharing that experience so that other women can get angry and perhaps get free as I did. Now I am a survivor. Now I can look back on this awful time with more clarity and know why it matters to write about it for others. ]

This is years ago. I had taken back my abuser after splitting with him for 6 months. We do that. I had believed his promises. We do that. I had trusted he would and could change. We do that.

I hadn't realised that things had already begun to slip. I didn't know that he had been lulling me into believing that things really had changed. There was a night I knew for sure. 

I had taken him back after a break because he went on a downward spiral of drink and drugs. He had threatened to kill himself and one day I turned up at his place with our child to find him distraught and virtually unintelligible surrounded by a heap of bottles and filth.

I am a caring person and immediately set about helping. I didn't take him back at that very moment and held out for a few more weeks. I tried to stay free. But the promises and the emotional manipulation proved too strong. Another woman told me I would be better off taking him back as I was going to struggle financially. I wasn't, I had found a really good job. She said I was better off with him than letting another woman have him. This gave me the feeling that no one else would want me and that men are a valuable commodity we need to survive. I had very low self esteem and a genuine fear that I would fail at life if he wasn't around. He had been giving me that message for many years. I had doubts I would live through a year. I was afraid my child would suffer and I was being selfish. He had told me that too. Often. 

People say all sorts of unsupportive things when you are being abused. You are lost and advice is comforting. Some of it you take. Sometimes the right advice isn't offered. I had no feminist connections at that time for obvious reasons. He had severed most of my connections with friends. I had no close family to rely on. He had ensured any sort of loose connections were severed. I had a friend at that time and he accused me of sleeping with him. He still accuses me of this when he gets the chance and some free texting time. He tells anyone who will listen that my infidelity is the reason he abused me for what else could he do? It is nonsense. I didn't try to sleep with his best friend either. None of his friends were any more attractive as human beings to me than he was. 

I took him back. I enjoyed the new start and he promised that is what it was. He was more caring for a while and said less horrible things. I didn't feel controlled - as much. "A bit nicer" when you've been abused isn't that hard for an abuser to do. For anyone looking from the outside it would still look like pretty horrible treatment and a pretty horrible life. 

I didn't realise that I was still apprehensive about asking to go out with friends. A friend had asked me to drinks in another part of town. I was afraid to tell him because he didn't know these friends and he was very judgemental about that part of town. I decided to stick to my guns and new freedom and go though. I did eventually work up to telling him after deciding a few times that I wouldn't bother going. Convincing myself I preferred to be at home anyway. 

He made me fearful by telling me it was not a good venue. In a pretence at caring he dropped me off and watched me go inside. This way he knew I was "safe". I look back now and am ashamed that I ever thought myself free. I wasn't. I had been apart from him. I had never been free. He had been carefully invested in getting me back under control. That is all. 

I began to talk to people in the pub. I suspect now that he probably stayed outside a while. Watching. I felt a bit awkward but had a couple of drinks and began to talk to new people. I am pretty sociable and I had always been good at passing myself off as confident and good at socialising even when I was in the middle of being abused. 

As the night wore on I began to get texts. Texts asking how long I would be. Then another and another and another. Finally telling me to get in a taxi and come home or the door would be locked against my getting in. It was about 11.30 pm. 

I hailed a taxi in a panic. I couldn't get one at first and was on my doorstep a little after midnight. Maybe 12.10 am. It was locked. The key was in the other side. I knocked gently. My child was in bed. The next day was school. I knocked again. And again. I panicked. I became really scared. Where would I go? Eventually I saw him come downstairs. He did not speak. He stared at me and stormed back to bed. I felt confused. I went to bed and he did not speak. I didn't sleep well. The next morning I felt pretty angry. I knew inside that I hadn't done anything wrong. I went downstairs as he was going off to work and had not spoken a word to me. He had been waiting. I began by saying I had done nothing wrong. 

The switch flicked. 

He threw the table across the kitchen smashing it into the wall where it caved plaster out of the wall. Yes. That much force. He threw the chair at me, just missing of course. He pounded on the sink draining board with his fist until it caved in. All the time screaming that I had disobeyed him. He couldn't trust me. I had promised to be in for 11 and I had stayed out beyond that. I had never said a time I would be home and he had never asked for one. I ran to the bottom of the stairs and sat crying. I pleaded and tried to reason with him. He shouted all sorts of names at me. Called me a slut and deceitful. Said I was taking the piss out of his good nature. Why had he come back when I was only making him miserable? On and on. Finally ignoring my distressed state he left, slamming the door behind him and I immediately set about clearing the mess and getting my child ready for school. Trying to act normal. Trying to field questions about the mess. Trying to hold my insides straight and tidy whilst my mind whirred in complete confusion.

I met the friend with the "go back" advice for a coffee as it was my day off. I told her what had happened. She seemed to be uncomfortable but still said it was "early days and will calm down".

I listened to her and I decided she was right. I probably hadn't tried hard enough to make him feel secure. Yes. I actually thought like that at the time.

I spent the day upset and wondering what to do. I was right. I did have the right to be out to a time I decided. I also spent some time wondering if I really had agreed to be in by 11pm and if it really was so unreasonable for him to expect me to be home. This was gas lighting. I know that now. I had never said it and both he and I knew it. 

That night he didn't come home from work. I tried calling. There was no answer. I didn't spend any time thinking about the smashed up kitchen but I spent subsequent years looking at the damage left behind that I could never quite bring myself to fix. 

I called again and again. I got scared. I wanted to apologise and fix things. We are conditioned by abusive men to try to fix situations caused by their poor behaviour.

Eventually he called me. Well I say he called me. His phone called me. I answered. I could hear footsteps as I said "Hello. Hello?" 

I heard doors opening. He had obviously called me by mistake. Or so I thought then. I don't now of course. 

I heard a woman's voice speak. I was gripped to the phone and sweating. I was still trying to get his attention by shouting his name. The woman said something I could not hear and then I heard a door open and close with a squeak. The footsteps began again. I heard his voice ask a question.

"Have you got one in stockings?"

I went cold. He was in a brothel. He admitted this later. He said it was my fault. I began to cry. I listened to him enter a room and slur something to a woman there. Then there were a lot of muffled noises whilst I screamed his name and begged him not to do what he was clearly doing. 

Eventually the phone went dead. Clearly he knew I had heard enough. I was with him for about another 4 years after that. You can imagine what they were like. 

So.... to the man on Twitter doing your "amazing work for women" by rewriting things we write and talking of our activism as though you are part of it - know this ... you can't steal these words or this experience because you haven't lived it. Many women have and for those women my heart cries.

JH x

(P.s - I'm free. I did not catch a sexually transmitted disease from that vile man. I am sorry to the poor woman he used like an object. I hope she didn't either.  I hope she got free of that terrible life. I am not sorry for sharing this experience and I have not shared it because I want people to feel sorry for me. I share because another woman somewhere is hearing shitty advice and wondering whether to take it. I hope she doesn't take it. I hope she finds some feminist advice instead.)

Tuesday, 1 November 2016

Justice Nicola Davies, Chainsaw Massacre, Ched Evans and Harold Shipman.

Forgive me if this is poorly worded. Forgive me if I don't quite have my thoughts together. Forgive me if I scream and it comes out as typed words which make no sense. 

I am genuinely stunned that a man can murder his mother with a chainsaw. He can kick her as she dies and strangle her. He can initially deny this and say she fell on his chain saw. He can say that she was mad. Finally he will admit his guilt. 

I'm not stunned that Robert Owens, a son, would do all that. It isn't that much of an "isolated incident" when we know that at least 2 women a week die at the hands of men who "love them". 

What really makes me do a head whip round is this....

The presiding judge said this as she delivered sentence...

That judge is saying that a man - a son - who murdered his mother, Iris Owens, for no reason whatsoever, in her garden - is "loving and supportive".

What was this loving and supporting mother doing when her "loving and supporting" son attacked her with a chain saw? Well by testimony she was hanging out the washing. Probably pegging out his pants and socks.

She was hanging out the washing when her own son came up and hacked at her with a chain saw and kicked her and strangled her. 

Now this is a terrible summative comment. It is an appalling way to deliver judgement in a murder trial regardless of whether you send that murderer to jail or not. It suggests that things sometimes just "get out of hand" in situations of family "domestics". Or is it male violence that is out of hand Justice Nicola Davies? 

Importantly - do you know how to recognise male violence when it is out of hand? Or are you a little "forgiving" of male violence? 

I don't care about his addiction troubles. Or his divorce. Or how Iris took him in. Of course she did. She looked after him in the dark times of his life as she did when he was a baby. Iris Owens loved him. Iris Owens was supportive. Her son hacked her to death with a chainsaw. 

Women love the men who murder them. Don't forgive those men as you send them for punishment. The message is abhorrent. "Ah bless. I know you didn't mean to!"

This Judge is also the judge in the Ched Evans retrial. You know the one with the summative comments on the case. The one who presided while section 41 evidence was used to discredit a complainant and parade her sexual history for an entire nation to digest with their tea. 

This judge also defended Harold Shipman as a barrister. Now... barristers can't refuse cases that come their way as "cab rank". I know that. But still. Harold Shipman. Murdered 144 women. 144 women. That right there is #maleviolence and that right there is the woman who taught herself how to defend it. 

Iris Owens had a first class honours degree in English which she gained at age 64. She was a volunteer for charity, she was a bilingual tour guide. She was a woman and she was murdered by a man she loved more than other men. We love our children. Even the ones we see coming towards us with a chain saw.  

I am speechless and sad.


JH x

Monday, 31 October 2016

The @fifthwavefeminism nonsense - get over it.

The account @fifthwavefeminism was deliberately targeting feminists. It had more than 16,000 followers. Those followers were aware that their job was to look at the screenshot of a feminist comment, find that feminist and target her with whatever you felt like from derision to abuse and every shade in between.

In itself derision is ok. When 16,000 people (mainly men) see that as their "duty" having sworn allegiance to an account by following it like particularly bigoted sheep, it is absolutely not ok and it is targeted trolling. I have been accused of shutting down the account because I couldn't take "constructive criticism". Hmmm. Ok. Is this sort of thing "constructive criticism" these days?

More importantly when there is a dog pile of that type, and the account's operator knows full well that will be the result when he "chooses" his feminist for "satire".... the account of the feminist becomes virtually useless. I had 563 notifications when I turned on. It is still happening. I am currently raising money for Rape Crisis and the complainant in the Ched Evans debacle. This was important to me and a lot of people.

This anti-feminist account can play innocent about its intentions all it likes ... but it stopped me from doing something worthwhile for over 24 hours. That is a direct attack. That same day that account did the same to 2 other feminists and to Lily Allen and it had been targeting women in this way for weeks. It was not a harmless account. It was a font of misogyny. It has been replaced by another whining account.

I will however address the "satire". The account wasn't happy with my tweet below. This actually wasn't that important to me either. I was busy focusing on poor application of a section of law in rape cases. But don't let that get in the way of a good misogynist.

Here was the picture of the condom machine placed in a woman's toilet and the slogan on that machine which makes no reference to the women who will be using it.

Let's be clear. I approve of the use of condoms. I talk to my daughter about their importance. I have, in the past done the whole condom on a banana thing. I have zero problems with condoms. They are a good and positive thing.

I commented on the placement of a machine with a slogan clearly aimed at men, within a women's toilet which used language which didn't refer to them at all other than as a "thing" to enter. 

I know how to deconstruct the language of advertising. I understand semiotics. I have studied Saussure. I know how to apply feminist theory on advertising too.

So here goes... one last attempt to stop the stupid onslaught of attacks about a topic that frankly I'd forgotten about about ten minutes after posting as it really isn't the key issue of the day for me. There are a lot of offensively marketed products for women. A LOT. It was just one that caught my eye and I had  a little tweet about it.

The key thing is that it was placed in a woman's toilet. That should mean the advertising would be sensibly aimed at women. "Don't let him in" might be appropriate. This means a woman is protecting her own body and referring to your own body as an entrance is ok. This is discussing the intimacy of your own vagina. A woman talking of her vagina as a thing that is part of her is fine.  Her having agency in gatekeeping access to her own body is fine. That isn't what this does.

When the language used is clearly addressed to a man the connotations are very different. The words "don't go in" very clearly remove the woman as a human being from the sexual act and make her a "thing" to be entered. The woman is nowhere in that message. Yet it is in a space that only females would (should) access. I don't think a human with a penis is a woman.  That isn't phobia. It is biology.

The language removes a woman from  her part in the sexual act. It makes her vagina an object. It makes that object a danger to men but does not discuss how their penis may be a danger to her. It is placed in a woman's space. These were my objections.

For a woman to be targeted by this product effectively it would need to talk about the diseases she could catch from a penis that she allows into her body. I was right in suggesting that putting a product that can be used by women too, in a woman's loo, but talking of her vagina as an object that is a problem to go in. That is not good. I still don't think that is good. It is the last I will say about something I'm not THAT arsed about.


Actually - it really doesn't matter what I say. This wasn't a case of "A feminist said something I don't agree with..." It was a case of "a feminist said ....something"

The account has now been replaced by an which continues to "target me" / whine like a door that needs oiling. It accuses me of removing free speech. Yeah. That old chestnut. I have no idea how many women reported that account. I hope they always report accounts that attempt to silence women. Incidentally the account also tried to endanger a young student and was happily gloating about it as she emailed it.

Also, the stuff I said wasn't even new. This research from "Women as Subject and Audience In World War II Venereal Disease Posters"  - Whitton 2010 reveals the following...

Wednesday, 26 October 2016

Twitter Attack


I have had to temporarily delete my Twitter account.

Yesterday I was targeted by an account called @fifthwavefem - This account picks out random feminists and then causes a "dog pile" - where all his followers attack you saying anything they like about feminists. It isn't good believe me. I couldn't operate my account by tea time and this had happened to at least 2 other women in the past 24 hours.

I received abuse from hundreds of misogynist account saying the most horrible of things. One told me to "choke on a dick".

I can handle that kind of thing and have done before. However, why should I?

I'm tired and my family are tired of watching me take this crap. I have a right to have a voice online and I don't harass others.

I reported directly to Twitter who tell me that moves are on the way to rectify that problem. Well that isn't now.

Meanwhile I cannot respond to messages about the Go Fund Me. I can't stay in touch with other women either for or to offer support.

I have good friends around me and will be taking a break but this isn't right at all.

I wanted to help women. This guy wants to stop me. I'm the one who is driven from Twitter? Is that ok?

JH x

Monday, 24 October 2016

What would a rapist's past sexual history look like? Would that be pleasant?

The day after the Ched Evans trial verdict was grim. Women were contacting me in sheer agony. Most had listened to the graphic details of the case in horror. The callous, indifferent treatment of Woman X during the night in 2011 and the treatment of her in that courtroom, where her sexual history was paraded for the world; unbearably painful to hear. How painful must it have been for that poor woman? Women wept for her. Women are still crying.

A few women said we should do something. They wanted me to front it. I said I would. I have taken abuse before and another round would make little difference. So I took a deep breath and started the fund. I very deliberately chose to list the target as £50,000 as this was the amount of "reward" offered for evidence by the website of Ched Evans. Surely we could try our best to raise that amount for a decent cause instead?

What happened has been overwhelming. The messages of support for Woman X are heartbreaking. I have cried many times this past week listening. Women talk of their own experiences and how this verdict left them on their knees and feeling hopeless that anyone would ever care about their experience. Men are quieter in their expression, but they are donating in support of women they know and I thank them from the bottom of my heart. Every £5 is a gesture of love, kindness and understanding that this woman and other women need their solidarity and support. Some of those women donating are going hungry to do so. It matters more to them than food that women get justice from our courts. That thought makes me weep. With misery at what has probably happened to them and joy that they have such compassion for others.

The reporting rate for rapes has doubled over the last five years whilst convictions have halved. This probably means more rapes and less rapists in jail. It means that women are disbelieved, in very large numbers, by juries. Or before that stage, by police who take the initial report. It means that we have a serious failure to help women at every step of our justice system.

Few rapes are reported. Of those, only 11% result in a conviction. The women who report them are still 100% raped. The men who raped them are still 100% on our streets.

The problem that has now been raised by the use of past sexual history via the hideous loophole of section 41, means fewer women than ever will dare to report. The thought of that happening to them is terrifying. It isn’t a precedent legally. It has been in existence and frugally used since 1999. But, this case has amplified the awareness of it for victims and for rapists. That will potentially have a disastrous effect.

A woman’s sexual history is irrelevant. Raped women react in a vast variety of ways. Women who enjoy sex can be raped just as easily as women who have never had sex. The rapist is the common denominator here. His past sexual history would probably be a lot more revealing.

Women are helped by rape crisis after the most horrific invasions of their body and their spirit by men. It can often be the first point of contact and it can go on long after the incident and any attempts to seek justice. Rape Crisis England And Wales have agreed to accept half the fund. I am pleased about that. Women will be helped by this fund in a very practical way.

Woman X has asked why people are doing this? She can’t believe there are people who care after what she went through in court. She is comforted to hear the answer. The answer is simple. Women love women. We help women. I’m told Woman X is drawing strength from reading the messages. The police officer involved in liasing with her said the fund has restored his faith in humanity. This is not just money. This is people behaving very, very, decently.

Thank you to the men who have helped too. You are lighting the way for other men. There are lots who remain very dark. They shout on Twitter. They don’t help anyone.

Men who rape women are subhuman. Women who help women overcome those rapes are being the very best humans they can be.

JH x

Friday, 14 October 2016

What Ched Evans Told Women

Of course Ched Evans himself didn't tell women that much. He sometimes doesn't talk to women he has sex with. He doesn't talk to feminists at all.

I really mean what the Ched Evans case told us.


That's the message from this whole sordid mess.

Manifesto For Women According To The Courts, The Football 'Industry', The Main Stream Media, Social Media, The Blokes In The Pub, The Blokes In Some Women's Beds, The Blokes In Some Women's Heads.

DON'T go out after work
DON'T get drunk
DON'T have sex
DON'T enjoy the sex you have
DON'T move around whilst having sex
DON'T get into "positions" whilst having sex
DON'T refuse to suck a man's penis especially if he asks in a funny voice
DON'T wear high heels
DON'T fall over
DON'T expect a famous footballer to pick you up off the floor like a reasonable human would
DON'T order pizza in a takeaway
DON'T drop your pizza
DON'T drop your handbag
DON'T ever have sex with more than one man in your entire life
DON'T text the man you have had sex with or consider them friends who might help you
DON'T have sex with the man you have been dating more than once
DON'T tell anyone if you wake up and don't know where you are
DON'T groan or squeal if you are in a room in a hotel drunk
DON'T go into a hotel room and assume no one else will come in and access it and your vagina
DON'T tell your friends if you think your drink has been spiked
DON'T tell the police anything
DON'T seek help if you wake up covered in bruises and don't know where you are
DON'T ask a man for help in the street he might "get" you
DON'T have sex with footballers. They are from the Planet Football with special rules about sex.
DON'T get raped
DON'T speak out
DON'T stay quiet. Even if you are too drunk to speak. Or unconscious. Or asleep.
DON'T go to court
DON'T go to court again
DON'T seek justice
DON'T carry on living if the courts let you down as they let down women every day
DON'T expect anything has changed since the days our grandmothers were raped
DON'T believe that women matter
DON'T fight the system. It is male and it will break you

Here is my response.

DON'T listen.

Get up from this knockdown. Stay on your feet.

Have sex where you like. Have sex with who you like. Move around. Move your own body. Move it away from men you find repulsive. Drink what you want. Wear what you feel like. Talk to who you want to. Talk loud. Talk soft. Talk often. Say yes. Say no. Say something. Say something else. Shout. Ask for help. Stay quiet for a while. Or forever if it helps. Cry. Laugh. Dream. Fight. 

Women are humans. Women have a voice. Women are 52% of the population of this world and women will not let men make rules for them forever. Women will keep fighting to keep other women safe. Women will fight for women who can't fight themselves. Women are loved by other women. That makes us very, VERY special. It makes us terrifying and beautiful.

Love to the sisters who keep other sisters strong

JH x

Wednesday, 12 October 2016

Green Party Women and Blockbot

I just want to share this with you.

I contacted Caroline Lucas to ask her position on Green Party  Women endorsing the Blockbot blocking of feminists who have a varying view of gender identity issues to the Blockbot owners and administrators.

I asked if she endorsed this silencing.

I can't share the full response as it is a protected email. The summary of the Green Party response is approximately this...

"We are looking into this. Please give evidence that the Blockbot is run by Men's Rights Activists....."

This is not something I asserted at all.

Here is my response.


I don't assert that the Blockbot application is run from the perspective, or even by, Men's Rights Activists. I think the problematic issue here is that an aggressive transgender rights group of self-identifying women and their biological counterparts are unwilling to allow the free voice of those women who may have a dissenting or oppositional view. They have therefore devised an application that effectively prevents those women from being heard. This is a deeply aggressive action against women whether it is perpetrated by other women or by men.

It is not just or fair that biological women should be denied the opportunity of connecting with other women, or men, via online communities at the behest of those with a differing ideological view of key feminist issues such as gender identity.

For the Green Party to endorse such no-platforming and silencing of women, many of whom work increasingly hard, on ever-dwindling resources, in a variety of ways to end violence against women is staggering and frankly savagely misguided.

The term "TERF" is both offensive and categorically untrue. No such thing exists and the bigotry and misogyny intrinsic within that term - used against biological women by self-identified women - is the thing that should be condemned rather than legitimised and encouraged by the Green Party.

I do hope that this can be addressed with Green Party Women who seem to be happily aligning themselves against women who are vehemently devoted to protecting safe women's space and advocating for the abolition of all violence against women and girls. Perhaps Caroline can explain how she makes sense of that and whether she endorses it.

Kind regards,

Jean Hatchet 
I await a response from Caroline Lucas but meanwhile perhaps she should really be considering the legal challenges that are being made against the Blockbot. Like this one....

Have the Green Party really thought through their alignment with something so obviously insidious and libellous as this thing is?


Saturday, 8 October 2016

She's gotta have it....

Women MUST have sex. 

That is the message implied by this.

Full piece here....

Why? Why does a woman need a "new lease of life" that obviously involves her having sex. There is no mention of sex with another woman or sex with herself mentioned here by the way.

The report helpfully and sympathetically points out that..... 

This might sometimes coincide with this......

Women who don't want sex with men don't need shaming into it. They don't need to be made to feel that there is something medically wrong with them. 

Let's make it nice and medical though....

Except for the last bit "relationship issues". Like the fact that a woman, functioning autonomously might just not want sex with a man?Her "relationship issues" could be with a man who is coercing her into sex. A man who is raping her within the relationship? Those kind of issues. 

The statistic of men who use sexual control, as part of relationship where a man is abusing a woman, is largely hidden and possibly the issue least discussed by women, because women are ashamed and embarrassed.   Even amongst other women. Women don't want to discuss this particular depth of their past abuse at the hands of a male partner. This is the point in the relationship where they are being used as a receptacle for his sperm as well as his hatred.

The Freedom Programme produced a wonderful video to highlight the techniques of the sexual controller. It is here....

A man might say to a woman a variety of these things...

          If you love me you will want to have sex with me...

          A man has to have sex... it is unhealthy if he doesn't...the pressure 
          builds up in his balls

          My friends have sex with their women at least five times a week

         What am I supposed to do if you won't have sex with me? Go to a prostitute? 
         Do you want that?

         I'll go elsewhere and it will be your fault....

This could of course be skipped in favour of....

     I own you. I am having sex with you whenever I like. Particularly when you don't want it as I don't really care what you want."

This is called rape. It does happen within a marriage. It has been illegal in the UK since 1991 and the case of R v R October 24th 1991.

So really...stop shaming women into thinking that if they don't want sex they are deficient or abnormal. A woman who is ready will let a man... or another woman... or her own fingers know. If none of that works then she can find a doctor and his man drugs without fear or shame. 

Linked to this are the rather desperate actions of men's rights activist Ben Froughi, who this week went to extraordinary lengths to stop women hearing how they might be able to say no to sex they don't want. He went to the measure of handing out leaflets to students at York University before a lecture on consent. The leaflets were deliberately misleading in that he had printed the York University logo at the top and they instructed students that the lecture was not compulsory. So... subtly suggesting they shouldn't stay. His complaint is with York University Women's Student Union. Or "man-hating feminists". He is annoyed that they have a voice on consent. He is annoyed that they wish to stop women being raped and men raping them. What he wants is for women to remain ill-informed about their rights around the law and their own bodies. He doesn't want young men educating that they do not have the right to those female bodies. So Ben Froughi is very keen that there are a supply of young women who don't know how to say "NO!" and young men who don't know how to hear "NO!" 

Campus rape is a problem and not just among the student body. This report in the Guardian shows that male academics also feel entitled to a woman's body if he is well-endowed enough with academic credentials.

The outstandingly loud message is that women have to have sex with men. They need to be taught less, drugged more, ignored more frequently and coerced more often by men and in some cases the medical profession funded by the government. What is now to stop a man who is already coercing a woman from marching her to a doctors to get her "fixed"?

I leave you with this thought which many coerced women have.... or just me?

Love yourselves women. Take that as you will.


JH x