I have spent the morning reading tweet after tweet like this.
I initially posted my objections to this video last night and since doing so I have received hundreds of tweets from men telling me I should not object to this video because "IT WAS A JOKE".
An excellent blog here by Shonagh Dillon explains quite clearly why domestic abuse is not a joke. I won't repeat her words. She runs a domestic abuse organisation and she has said this far more effectively than I ever could. Please read it. Covid19 and domestic abuse epidemic
However - what also worries me is what this has uncovered about the men who are appearing on my Twitter timeline - and probably yours - in their hundreds. These men are unable to see the link between their perception of this video as "A JOKE!!!!" and the reality of the scale of domestic abuse in this country where women are murdered by men they know at, on average, a rate of one every 4 days. These men can utterly divorce the two things. This is deeply worrying.
These things cannot be parted. If you laugh at the thought of a man hitting a woman then you either are a man who would hit a woman, or you are a man who condones other men hitting women. It is that simple.
Many men and women are horrified. They see that the video has the potential to normalise domestic abuse even if it does not directly incite it. I think it will have incited some men to hit some women. This boxer is clearly popular. Men and young boys idolise him. So has he incited violence? Undoubtedly. However, men who abuse women rarely need incitement - either by other men or by being forced to stay home with them as a result of CoVid19. The virus is not the issue. The video is not the issue. Epidemic levels of violence against women is the issue.
Many men don't even need to be isolated with the woman they abuse. They can stalk and harass her from a distance. Sometimes they do this before turning up to kill her. Domestic abuse was already at epidemic levels in this country and women are primarily the victims of male perpetrators. Over 95% of perpetrators in prison for domestic abuse crimes are male.
So back to the Kev of the tweet above. Kev seems to be saying that many men are at home struggling to keep their tempers with the women in their homes. This is undoubtedly true. There are clearly many domestic abusers in this country and many abused women. The women are at home struggling because they cannot access services which would otherwise help them to leave their "Kev" who is, and was already, abusing them in their home. Government are doing too little too late. As far as I can see they have done nothing practical to help these women. Government have already, over a number of years, reduced services further than simply "back to the bone". The skeletal services in the women's sector have never been able to cope with the stratospheric scale of violence against women. That has never been made more obvious to them than currently, when women can't even be reached. They can't access helplines as "Kev" is constantly watching over their shoulder. He is waiting for an excuse to "knock them out" either with a fist or his constant mental and emotional onslaughts. They are trapped because government have not given women's services the funds to get them out alive. They were already in danger before Covid19. They just have less opportunity to seek help.
So regarding the "Kev's" swarming my Twitter.
1. I understand boxing, even though they suggest that this is my problem.
2. I am not bored. Male violence is not something I turn up for every now and then. FYI - no feminist gets famous for fighting it. We get death threats.
3. I understand jokes even though it is suggested that I am humourless "feminazi". Neither domestic abuse or Billy Joe Saunders are funny.
4. Some of my friends find me funny at parties.
There are men who have approached me directly by direct message. These men should not be around women. Thanks @NewVisions99 and @sean_mccarthy7 for your direct messages. Since you aren't brave enough to put them on an open forum I will. Sean in particular learned to hate women very young. I hope his mother sees this. These men do not deter me and never will.
What I also understand is that you have a problem with women. You can see a man talk of how to hit a woman and you cannot condemn that man. It is because you accept domestic abuse as an inevitable consequence if a woman challenges you in your own home. You demonstrate that your being in close proximity to a woman over a prolonged period is problematic for you and your temper. It is because many of you are perps now and some of you are perps in the making.
This is why we have a problem with domestic abuse in this country and will continue to. It is because men who are domestic abusers convince others that firstly THEY are not abusers and secondly domestic abuse is not really an issue.
These men lie.
Furthermore, Billy Joe Saunders.. this is not an apology. This is a promise to commit more violence. This is also not an acknowledgement of wrong doing... it is an accusation that women cannot take a joke. It also shows you regard women as the possessions of men. Man. At best you just aren't funny. At worst..... well. You are dangerous.
